


Thief vs. Thief III

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [31]
Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen, no tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Last night when I was writing TvT II, I felt bad for Felicia, so I did another flip. I'm committed to being honest with the results, I'm proud to say Felicia managed a 58-43 victory. If you don't know who Cairo De Frey is, that's all right, she's from a terrible comic book called Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt but I really like her because she's smart, she's ruthless, and she looks like me with a better body (I've said before I'm vain, haven't I?). Numbers Three and Five I made up, though that's the legitimate way to refer to agents of Scorpio.</p><p>Please leave comments about what you liked, what you didn't, etc. Also, this burst of activity (I think I've posted a story at least once per day) is because I have a lot of time thanks to Spring Break. Because that's over Monday, I'll go back to my regularly scheduled Wednesday stories, so this is just a heads up I'll be posting a lot less in the coming weeks. I'll try to find a way to combine DC and Marvel characters more concretely by Sunday (as in, more than Felicia & Selina).</p>
    </blockquote>





	Thief vs. Thief III

**Author's Note:**

> Last night when I was writing TvT II, I felt bad for Felicia, so I did another flip. I'm committed to being honest with the results, I'm proud to say Felicia managed a 58-43 victory. If you don't know who Cairo De Frey is, that's all right, she's from a terrible comic book called Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt but I really like her because she's smart, she's ruthless, and she looks like me with a better body (I've said before I'm vain, haven't I?). Numbers Three and Five I made up, though that's the legitimate way to refer to agents of Scorpio.
> 
> Please leave comments about what you liked, what you didn't, etc. Also, this burst of activity (I think I've posted a story at least once per day) is because I have a lot of time thanks to Spring Break. Because that's over Monday, I'll go back to my regularly scheduled Wednesday stories, so this is just a heads up I'll be posting a lot less in the coming weeks. I'll try to find a way to combine DC and Marvel characters more concretely by Sunday (as in, more than Felicia & Selina).

 Here at some upscale Paris convention, Selina Kyle drinks wine and makes small talk with her date. He's nice enough, but he's only a means to an end. 

See, while Selina's not exactly a socialite, she's a pocket picker without compare (though _unflattering_ comparisons have been made between her and a certain cat burglar; she hates them, though she can't care less about Felicia specifically). At a party like this, filled with Paris' richest and foreigners willing to show off, she can nab an easy couple hundred thousand.

There's just one problem.

One problem she intends to correct.

She drags her date to a table with a white haired woman and _her_ date, similarly a means to an end. There's a lot of similarities between the two of them, Selina thinks, but the difference is that she's far better at everything than she is.

Maybe if they hadn't done this _twelve_ times already, they'd be friends.  

Maybe.

"Felicia Hardy," Selina says, taking a seat across from Felicia, fake smiling. "Seems like we had the same idea. You should've told me." She turns to her date, "Go get us some drinks, please, dear."

Felicia fake smiles right back and nudges her date, who gets the hint. "Next time, next time. Who's your date?"

Selina shrugs. "His name's Ben, an actor. Yours?"

"Andrew, also an actor," Felicia answers. "One of Hollywood's up and comers."

"Lovely," Selina says, her tone indicating she does not care in the least. "How are you liking Paris so far?"

"Cut the crap, Sel. Why are you here?"

A third woman comes to sit down before she can answer, though. Dark skinned Parisian Cairo De Frey, one time enemy of Thunderbolt. This is _her_ party and she recognizes the two women from the files on her organization, Scorpio.

"Yes, Ms. Kyle," she says, staring Selina dead in her eyes. "Why _are_ you here?"

Selina meets her gaze. "For the party. Why else?"

Cairo doesn't seem to believe it, but she turns her attention to Felicia. "And you, Ms. Hardy?"

"My date invited me," she answers. She's actually telling the truth, though she did drop enough hints to get him to make that invitation. "We're on the up and up, Ms. De Frey."

"See to it you remain so," the woman responds, standing up. "Or things will get very unpleasant for you, _comprenez-vous_?"

"Oui," Felicia responds. "Nous comprenons."

"Good," Cairo smiles briefly before taking her leave.

Selina waits until she's gone to lean over the table to Felicia and grin. "Nous comprenons _que vous êtes une salope._ "

Felicia laughs. " _Oui, oui._ I thought for a second she was going to threaten with me a _baguette_."

The two women trade insults about Cairo behind her back for a few minutes, laughing all the while. They haven't exactly buried the hatchet, but it's like the old saying goes, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"De Frey's going to have her eyes on us," Felicia points out. "You still want to do it?"

Selina scoffs. Of _course_ she does. "How does first to five hundred thousand sound?"

"Like a date."

Speaking of, their dates finally come back. Both women take the drinks they've been brought, down them in one gulp, and take their dates out to the dance floor to begin their contest.

<<>>

$500,000 between the two of them in the competition, Felicia is in the lead with just $100 more. But she needs to pee like _super bad_. Leaving in the middle of the competition is tantamount to giving Selina the money, especially when it's so close, but the alternative is to try and hold it and risk going on the dance floor which would be _a lot_ worse than losing.

Still, she's not about to forfeit.

Felicia sneaks behind Selina and picks off some of her money on the way to the bathroom. She makes sure Selina knows she took it. "Meet me in the bathroom."

Unfortunately for the two, Cairo saw that. _I knew they were up to no good._

In the restroom, Selina takes her money back from Felicia while the other woman handles her business in the stall.

"That was low," Selina says, counting it just to make sure she got it all back. "Even for you."

"Says the woman who abandoned me to the world's largest meathead security guard."

"It was me or you then. This is... I'm half-tempted to call it cheating."

"There's no honor among thieves," Felicia responds, coming out the stall and washing her hands clean. "You know that."

"Thieves, hm?" Cairo's accented voice causes Selina and Felicia to freeze and tense up. _Shit,_ they think in unison, _we're fucked_.

Cairo's standing in front of the door with two of her agents, Number Three, a blonde black woman with long hair, and Number Five, an Asian woman with shoulder length black hair, all three dressed for a party but ready for a fight.

"I told you two you'd regret crashing my party, non?"

<<>>

Outside, a woman desperately needs to the restroom, but the door seems to be locked. She's not sure if there's another one, but the loud noises coming from inside this one make her decide to find out.

_Was that a gunshot?_

Whatever's going on in there, she wants no part of it.

<<>>

Selina isn't sure when wedgies became the way she dealt with people she didn't like, but it's _really_ therapuetic. Of course, she knows when to _hit_ someone, and that's far more satisfying; for minor disturbances like Cairo and the Numbers, though, it may be a little excessive.

Not that what she did wasn't.

Well, truthfully, it was her _and_ Felicia, who similarly looks pleased with herself.

"Did a number on them, huh?" she asks, gesturing to the three women who came in here ostensibly to hurt them.

Selina can't help but agree. "Yeah, that's _really_ bad."

Felicia goes to the door, ready to continue, but she's stopped by a hand under her dress. _Selina!_

The Gothamite doesn't have a trustworthy bone in her body for Felicia Hardy -- she just needed the opportunity to get her guard down. Going under the dress, she pulls up her rival's seamless nude colored panties, getting them up to her mid-back and bunching up the polyster fabric of her shimmer dress.

"Let me go!" Felicia demands, her underwear making her so uncomfortable. " _This_ is cheating!"

"No honor among thieves," Selina repeats, yanking harder for punctuation and making Felicia yelp.  

"Remember you asked for -- ow! Stop! I'm _trying_ to threaten you!"

"It's a waste of breath," Selina points out, though Felicia would disagree.

And would actually _do_ something about her disagreement, kicking off her heels and pushing Selina back, slamming her back first into a stall and making her relax her grip just enough for Felicia to pull her underwear away.

_Shi--_

Felicia throws a few punches at Selina who ducks under them. When Felicia pauses to pull down her dress some, Selina pounces, though Felicia manages to catch her like a pro wrestler about to do a body slam.

"How strong _are_ you?" she asks, more impressed than immediately fearful.

The white haired thief smirks, though she hides the fact that catching Selina was entirely a desperation move aided by adrenaline. Could she lift her otherwise? Perhaps. Could she pluck her out of the air like this? Maybe 4 times out of 10, if she's lucky.

"Call it luck," Felicia says, using everything she has to throw Selina overhead.

Selina manages to land on her feet, cats always do, but Felicia's bad luck powers means one of her heels snap, causing her to wobble a bit on landing and allowing her rival to catch her bent over and sandwich her head in between her thighs.

Felicia slowly peels up Selina's black swing dress, taking her time and enjoying it, and revealing a pair of plain pink bikini panties.

"Felicia, let me go and I won't leave you here!"

"You said that last time," Felicia points out, gathering a large amount of fabric and pulling back, lifting Selina out of her heels and bouncing her up and down by the panties.

"Ow! Stop!"

Felicia does not stop, wiggling the panties in her hand for a moment before transitioning to a more traditional position, that is, with her behind Selina.

Using some of her strength, she lifts Selina up onto a stall hook and then drops her, leaving her hanging by her panties. She swings open the door a few times, bouncing Selina around slightly, enough for her to groan.

"Boy, does that feel good," Felicia fixes her wedgie from earlier. "7-6?" she asks, though she knows the answer.  

"I'll get you for this," Selina mutters, trying to find some way to distribute her weight so she gravity stops existing on her underwear and failing. She kicks her legs a few times futilely. "You mark my words, Hardy."

"If you say so," Felicia dismisses, pulling Selina's dress up over her head but not off. Selina manages to bring it down, but Felicia lets her, she just really wanted to see the expression on her face after she did it.  

"Are you done?" Selina asks, trying to keep her dress down.

Felicia nods and points to Cairo and the Numbers. The women are somewhat struggling, having given up on getting out of their predicaments a few minutes ago, but Cairo has a watch she's trying to reach to alert the other Numbers to come and help her.  

"Hope you find a way to get out before _they_ do."

Before leaving, Felicia takes a mental snapshot not only of Selina hanging up there but of their work together. If they ever decided to team up, they'd be a force to be reckoned with.  

You could ask Cairo, who is on her knees, face down, behind in the air, head trapped between Number Three's thighs with her yellow happy face underwear pulled all the way over her face, snapped onto her chin. Her arms were bound by her legholes, the underwear stretched too tight for her to get them out.

Number Three is in a similar position, her head trapped between Number Five's thighs, her black panties in an atomic wedgie. Number Five breaks the chain, head free in the breeze, but her panties were the smallest and least stretchiest, so her atomic wedgie was the worse. Selina thought it'd only be fair.

"This is pretty bad, isn't it?" Felicia asks no one in particular, looking over to them. She takes Selina's money, swings the door a few more times, and ditches her date through the window, making sure the bathroom door can't be opened easily.  

Of course, there's no way she'd _spare_ Selina the embarrassment of someone finding her like this, but she gave her a little leeway to get free. There's some honor among thieves, after all.  

<<>>

Selina manages to find footing and get down only a few minutes later, her underwear having stretched enough to let her toes touch the ground. She only needed to reach up and unhook her panties. Then, she's faced with the decision to leave Cairo and her agents still trapped in their wedgies or help them out.  

Feeling bad (and hearing the door jiggling), she frees Number Five from her atomic wedgie so she could get out and in turn, free the other ones. Not wanting to stick around for thanks, she escapes through the window.

Soon, Cairo is free, deeply embarrassed, but free. She was caught off-guard, but thankfully, as she picks her wedgie and tries to smooth out her underwear under her dress, that's over. After all, she's heard the door jiggling for the past couple of minutes, she'd die if anyone found her like this.

When she's all well-adjusted and presentable (if her hair's a bit disheveled), the door finally opens and a woman with chalk white skin and scars enters in.

"Hi," the woman says. "Was Selina Kyle here, by any chance?"

Cairo looks at her Numbers and then crosses her arms. "Who's asking?"

"Me?" the woman laughs way too loud for comfort. "I'm the Joker! And boy, do I have an offer for you!"


End file.
